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The Cupid Effect/Transcript
Monique: And then he said we'd go out for French food. :Kim: Sounds promising. :Monique: French fries, Kim. :Kim: Well... :Monique: Drive-through. :Kim: Ouch. :Monique: I'm a scrub magnet, no use denying. :Kim: So not. What happened to LeSean? :Monique: LeGone. I don't wanna sound desperate, but V-day's coming. :Kim: Um, that sounded kinda desperate. :Monique: Valentine's Day, the worst time of the year to be all lonely-hearted. You and Ron probably have a big time all planned, don't you? :Kim: Now that you mention it, he hasn't mentioned it. :Monique: It's your first Valentine as a couple and you don't have reservations or anything?! :Kim: Well, maybe he, uh... forgot. :Monique: You never forget a holiday when you work retail, girl. :Ron: Hey, KP! :Kim: Hey, how come you're not at work? :Ron: Yeah, pet department's closed for a while. Some cages were left open. Food chain issues. Um... What's with all the hearts? :Monique: I'm gonna go get some more stock, from the room, with the stock. :Kim: You do know what happens in February. Don't you, Ron? :Ron: Groundhog Day. Presidents Day. Dental Health Month! Oh, that reminds me! Rufus! Happy Dental Health month, KP. It has a tongue scraper on the back. :Kim: Ahem, Valentine's Day. :Ron: Oh, uh, I don't celebrate. I mean, yeah, you know, I never had a girlfriend on... Oli Canoli! I have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day! :Kim: Mmhm. :Ron: Wow! This is huge! :Wade: Kim! :Kim: Huh? :Ron: Ahh! Wade! You know what? You gotta warn me, when you're going real-world! :Wade: Sorry, time for a new battery. You got three or four years out of the old one, though. :Kim: Thanks, Wade. :Wade: And I upgraded your plugs-ins. Check it. X-ray mode! :Monique: Hey, Wade. :Wade: Hey. Mo... Mo... Mo... :Ron: Uh, is this Robo-Wade? :Wade: Monique... Hi... I... I... Um. :Monique: Wade, you okay? :Kim: Uh, oh.... to theme song :Ron: Wade crushing on Monique? Kooky... isn't it? :Monique: 10.5 on the weirdness scale. :Ron: Out of...? :Kim: Ron! You are not trying to set up Monique with Wade. :Ron: I'm a romantic. :Kim: Who forgot about Valentine's Day. :Ron: Toothbrush, Kim. Yours if you want it. :Kim: Have to admit, Wade is kinda sweet, isn't he? :Monique: Sweet? Sure, but.. :Ron: And a college grad. :Monique: Who won't be old enough to drive for four more years! Us going out is like one chance in... never! :Ron: So there is chance. A...booyah. :Kim: He's five years younger! Hello?! (sigh) Maybe if I talk to Wade. to Wade's room :Wade: Kim, I have no idea what you're talking about. :Kim: I saw how you were looking at Monique. :Wade: I wasn't looking at anything. I never saw her in person before. And.. and she smelled so... nice. Oh, mom's calling. Gotta go. Uh, situation. Earth's gonna hit an asteroid...comet... something... President called... losing signal! :Wade's mom: Wade! Honey, Ron's here! :Wade: What? Ron? Here? :Ron: Wade! :Wade: I don't know what you're talking about! :Ron: Ugh. Okay, this is me, Wade. You, my friend, have a problem. And I'm the solution. And when I talk to Monique..... :Wade: What?! :Ron: She said she'd go out with you. :Wade: What?! Wait! Say that again. :Ron: In a roundabout, non-committal, sort of way. So, I'm gonna teach you the fine art of charming and disarming. :Wade: You? :Ron: Yes, me. Excuse me! Who is dating Kim Possible? :Wade: Yeah, but the laws of extreme improbability inexplicably worked out in your favor. :Ron: And we'll make them work out for you. to Men's Suits :Ron: Okay, now, Monique's an older woman and you're a young dude. So, we gotta make you seem more mature. :Wade: Shouldn't I just be myself? :Ron: Mmm, that only works in cartoons. Ah, now see, this is a mature man's coat. to Hair Salon :Ron: Eh, you're too well-groomed. You need stubble. :Wade: But I don't shave. :Ron: We'll use Super Le Goop! (rubs Le Goop on Wade's face and puts hair cuttings on his face) And a little of this. Okay, almost there. Yeah, I'm thinking taller. Maybe a hat! to Steve's Hats :Ron: Perfect! :Wade: I look like Lincoln! :Ron: Ready for Presidents Day! Oh, and Groundhog Day. Apparently. to Club Banana :Wade: Are you sure about this? :Ron: Absolutely. Look, I'll be right here. And if you feel yourself at a loss for words, I wrote this for you. :Wade: Your writing is kind of hard to read. :Ron: Yeah, but as long as you can feel it. :Wade: What?! Hey, ladies. :Kim: Wade... celebrating Presidents Day early? :Wade: Hi, Mo.. Mo...uh... Mo... Mo... uh... :Monique: Mo-nique. :Ron: (whispers) Notes! Go to the notes! :Wade: Oh, um. The humble earthworm is vital to agriculture. It moves through the soil by excreting lubricating mucus. :Kim/Monique: Ewww! :Ron: Okay, wait! That's my Biology report! Wait, oh! That means! to Barkin's classroom :Barkin: (crying) Awww, that's a lovely thought. A+, Stoppable, A+. to Mall Security :Wade: Apparently, impersonating a president is against Mall Regulations. :Ron: So, you hit a little snafu. :Wade: Why is romance so much harder than microelectronics? :Ron: Well, you know, things would be a lot easier if, oh, I don't know, you just invent a love-ray that would make Monique fall in love with you. :Wade: Hmm. Booyah. to Wade's room :Wade: By synthesizing certain pheromones in the love-inducing chemical found in chocolate, this cupid-ray will send out sonic pulses to Monique's emotional cortex. :Wade's mom:: Uh, honey. :Wade: Mom! I'm busy! :Wade's mom:: But Wade, Ron's here. :Ron: Dude, I've got it! What's that? :Wade: It's a ...bun-warmer? :Ron: Cool. Got any? :Wade: What? :Ron: Warm buns? :Wade: Maybe later. :Ron: Okay, look. I've figured out where we went wrong. Location, location.. :Wade: Location? :Ron: Yes! You need to whisk Monique away, to the City of Lice. :Wade: You mean Paris? The City of Lights? :Ron: Oh.... Oh, is that?.... Okay, is that what it is? 'Cause I never got the whole lice angle. :Wade: And you think Monique will just let me just whisk her off to Paris? :Ron: That's the genius part. to Paris, France :Kim: I thought you said the Eiffel Tower was in danger? :Ron: It is in danger! Of rust! Eventually. :Kim: That's the reason we had to hurry off to France? :Monique: And tell me again why I'm here? :Ron: Back up. Yeah, I doubt KP and I could handle this baby alone. And did you know it's the City of Lights, not Lice? :Kim: Ron? You wanna tell me why we're really here? Wait. Paris? The two of us? Valentine's Day? Wow! You're being romantic! :Monique: And me as back-up. to Cafe de Paris :Ron: All clear Rufus? :Rufus: Okay! :Ron: Wade, you ready? Wade? :Wade: Hey, Ron! :Ron: I told you to meet me here at six! :Wade: I can't do this on empty. :Ron: Okay, I'll go in first. Then you just happen to come in. We'll tell them, you know, you're fixing the French Internet or something. :Wade: Gotcha. :Ron: You're not nervous? :Wade: Not this time. :Ron: Hey-hey! Your bun-warmer! That's a good idea. This town's lousy with bread. to Kim and Monique :Kim: Fixing the French Internet? :Monique: Isn't it the World Wide Web? :Ron: Yeah, except when it ... breaks... into pieces. Right, Wade? :Kim: I smell a set-up! Ron? Convo! Now! :Ron: Okay, now remember confi....... :Kim and Ron :Monique: Look, Wade. Okay, I know what it's like to crush, I do, but......(interrupted by Wade blasting her with the love-ray) You're so adorable! I can't believe you came all the way to Paris, just to see me! to Señor Senior, Sr. spying on Wade and Monique :SSS: What's this? The boy genius, who helps Kim Possible? Apparently, he has invented a.......love machine? :Señor Senior, Jr. :SSJ: Father, do you think this is enough Le Goop to last me through a weekend? I hear it may rain. Oh! You are spying! I want to peek! :SSS: (sighs) But just for a moment. You have your own opera eyeglasses. to Ron and Kim :Kim: Ron, why are you encouraging him? He's just going to get hurt. Ron: Ohhh, really? to Wade and Monique, Ron and Kim in the background :Monique: (laughs) Lice. to Ron and Kim :Kim: What? How? They look like- :Ron: They're in love? :Kim: Yeah, but- :Ron: Paris. :Kim: Paris. to Señor Senior, Sr. and Señor Senior, Jr. :SSS: To control love in such a way. :SSJ: We must steal it and find a way to use it for evil. :SSS: I am bursting with pride, my son. :SSJ: (laugh) I was looking over your shoulder and I read your notes. :SSS: Jr., that was cheating. I am so proud. to Club Banana :Kim: Hey, Monique. Sorry, I'm late. :Monique: (whisper) Are you alone? :Kim: Monique? Why are you a mannequin? :Monique: Just avoiding someone. :Kim: Who? :Monique: Wade! That's who! :Kim: I thought you guys were an item. :Monique: I don't know what we are! All I know is something super freaky weird is going on. Wade :Wade: Hey, Kim. Hey, girl. :Monique: Say what? (Wade throws a shirt on the floor to distract Kim and blasts Monique with the love-ray) :Monique: Say what are you doing over there, baby? Come give mommy-mom some sugar. :Kim: Sugar? :Monique: Couldn't you just pour him on a stack of pancakes? :Kim: Did you do something? :Wade: Did you see something? :Kim: I'm not sure. :Wade: Then... no. :Monique: Kim just doesn't understand about us, baby boy. :Kim: Baby boy? No kidding. to Señor Senior Sr, and Señor Senior, Jr. at Wade's house :SSJ: (sneezes) :SSS: Good day, madame, We have a delivery of flowers from your loving spouse. :Wade's Mom:: From Lontaine? My husband? Are you sure you have the right house? :SSS: Yes, this is the house of the spouse. :SSJ: (sneeze) :Wade's Mom:: Uh, is he feeling all right? :SSJ: No! My eyes are watering and I'm all- :SSS: Oh, he is robust and now, where would you like your extravagant fresh flowers? to Wade and Monique :Monique: And what does my little manage boy want to eat, something sweet? Liiiike, you! (laugh) :Wade: This was worth leaving my room for. :Monique: Okay, how about some yummy pizza or a big ol' burger and- (love-ray wears off) Oh, Wade, what? Hey! :Wade: Uh, oh. (blasts Monique with love-ray) :Monique: I think we have something that we should share. We should share something! Let's see, share... a sundae! Okay, okay, you go find a table and I will be right there. :Ron :Ron: Dude, making time with the ladies. :Wade: Oh. Hey, Ron. Guess I picked the right guy to school me. :Ron: Word. You do mean me, right? :Monique: Double fudge sundae for my sweet little thang. (kisses Wade) Forgot a spoon. Don't miss me too much. :Wade: (laugh) :Ron: Wow! Genius of love, too! :Monique (love-ray wears off) Wade! You are playing the wrong- (blasted by Wade again) Oh, you are so tasty! Mmm. :Ron: What? Wait, you just did something with the bun-warmer. Can I borrow that? :Monique: (kisses Wade) Okay, I gotta go back to work. But know I'll be thinking of you, my little boo.(laughs) Bye! (exits) :Ron: Okay, okay, thats not really a bun-warmer, is it? Because my bun is lukewarm and Monique is all hottie hot. :Wade: Okay, it's a device that makes girls falls in love with me. I invented it. :Ron: What? That's great! That's.. that's.. wrong! Oh, so wrong! Wade! Wait, which means it wasn't my mad love school skills? :Wade: Well, you gave me the idea for the love-ray. That's something. :Ron: Me? No, I didn't! (gasps) Oh, so when I said... and then you thought... then you did... :Wade: Yep. :Ron: Oh, Kim's so gonna blame me. :Wade: I just wanted Monique to like me for me. :Ron: So you zapped her with a ray? :Wade: Inventing things is what I do. So in a way, it's liking me for me, isn't it? :Ron: Well, yes. In a way. A sick and wrong way. But it is technically a way, I guess. to Wade's house :Wade's Mom:: Woo, when Lontaine sends flowers, he sends flowers. :SSS: And now I will read the card. :SSJ: (sneeze) Papi, we do not have a card. :SSS: I will make something up to give you time to find the item. Now hurry. Señor Senior, Jr. :SSS: To my dearest wife, may the romantic fragrance of nature's beauty merely echo you. :Wade's Mom:: Awww. :SSS: Please, shh. Don't interrupt. :Wade's Mom:: Ugh, sorry. to Wade's room :SSJ: Hello, little genius kid. Oh! The plans for the love device! Papi will be so proud! to Señor Senior, Sr. and Wade's mother :SSS: The wealth of the world shall be ours. Together we will chase around perdition's flame in our own dark. :Señor Senior, Jr. :SSJ: We have it! :SSS: Bravo, Jr. Signed, your loving husband. Happy Valentine's Day. :Señor Senior, Sr. and Señor Senior, Jr. :Wade's Mom:: Well, the flowers are nice. I don't know about that card, though. to the Possible house :Kim: There's something odd going on. Today, it was almost like Wade had some sort of control over Monique. :Ron: What? Control? (laugh) Come on. They're just too kooky kids in love. Oh! Hey, look. TV. :Kim: Love? Monique was pretending to be a mannequin to avoid him. :Ron: My favorite show. Weather. :Kim: Yeah, it's partly cloudy and completely weird. (Kimmunicator beeps) :Kim: So Wade? :Wade: Oh. Hey, Kim. Um, is Ron there? :Kim: Yeah. It's for you. :Wade: Ron, um. It looks like Jr. and Sr. have stolen plans to a certain device from my room. :Kim: What sort of device? :Ron: Um... uh... uh... Okay, okay! Wade invented a bun-warmer that makes girls fall in love with him! :Kim: I knew that bun-warmer wasn't right! :Wade: It was Ron's idea! :Ron: What?! Not intentionally! :Kim: Wade? What were you thinking! :Wade: I just really like Monique. I promise I won't use it again. :Kim: I'm disappointed in both of you. :Ron: Let's not play the blame game, KP. Unless you spot me 10 points and give me a head start. :Kim: All right. If Sr. has these plans, what's the worst case? :Wade: Well, it's not very powerful. The sonic effect is short range and short term. :Kim: So maybe there's some rich woman that Sr.'s after. :Ron: Yeah, you know, maybe an older woman who won't go out with him because he's too young. :Ron: Maybe not. :TV: The Ear Splitters rock Lowerton! The loudest band on the planet! Live! Tonight at the Lowerton Arena! Powered by their bone-rattling, million mega-watt, amplified speaker system! Your ears will be amplifried! :Kim: Wade, what if Sr. tried to amplify the love-ray? :Ron: Like, you mean, with a million mega-watts? :Wade: Oh, that'd be bad. to the Possible garage :Wade: Hey, guys. Don't know if you've heard. Sr.'s planning a huge concert and broadcasting it world-wide. :Kim: So that's how they're going to use the cupid-ray. To control women all over the world. :Ron: KP, this concert is free! Booyah! We are so there! Ah, man. Ladies only. Well, that tanks. :Kim: Trap, Ron. We are not going to the concert. We're going to stop it. :Wade: And I'm going, too. This is all my fault, Well, Ron gave me the idea. :Ron: Ahh! I have lots of ideas! People usually don't act on them! :Wade: I want to help set things right. :Kim: Okay, but promise me you'll never use it again. :Wade: Promise. This has caused enough trouble. :Monique: (entering) Oh, no. Don't you all be driving off before I get my say. Wade, word! :Kim: Uh, Monique. We're in a hurry can you guys deal later? :Monique: Sorry, Kim. Dealing now. Wade, what you did was so- (Kim blasts Monique with love-ray) So adorable! That's my boo! :Kim: Uh, sorry, we really don't have time for this. :Monique: (cries) Wade, wait! Don't leave me! :Kim: Oh, fine. Bring her along. to Señor Senior, Sr and Señor Senior, Jr's. island :Monique: I can not believe you used science for evil. :Wade: Technically, it was for love. :Monique: I don't care what it was for! :Kim: Guys, shut! Monique, don't make me zap you again. :Monique: Hmph. :Kim: Security's tight. We'll need to find a different way in. :Wade: I'll use my new grappling belt. :Ron: Uh, yeah. Good for you. But what about Monique. She's grapple-challanged. :Monique: Ahem. Yo, what's wrong with just going through the front gate. :Kim: Right, good idea. Just one problem. Ladies only. :Ron/Wade: (gasp) :Ron: Oh, no, you don't. to Ron and Wade dressed as ladies :Wade: They did. :Ron: Hey, I've done this before. Course, I was brain-switched with Kim at the time. to Señor Senior, Sr. and Señor Senior, Jr. backstage :SSS: With the speakers and this love apparatus, soon half of the world's population will be under our control. :SSJ: And then I will be worshipped by millions! But my social calender will be so full. Oh, I am tired even thinking on it. Hold the curtain! I need fizzy water for refreshment. to Kim, Ron, Wade and Monique in the crowd :Wade: These (earplugs) will protect you from the effects of the cupid-ray. Monique: Sure, now you give me these. :Kim: Okay, it's probably backstage. :Ron: Yeah, got your crowd control covered, KP. Make way! Big fans coming through! Hey! Watch the dress! :Security Guard: Man, some of these girls are bossy! to Señor Senior, Sr. announcing Señor Senior, Jr. :SSS: Ladies from around the globe, welcome, to our concert of love. It is my sincere pleasure to present to you, Señor Senior, Jr. :SSJ: But you did not call me a pop sensation! :SSS: (sighs) And I assure you he is a pop sensation. :Señor Senior, Jr. onstage :SSJ: (singing) On the road to love, you must pay the toll. Exact change is required, 'cause that's the way I roll. I've got a tortured soul, and my heart, it has a hole. Because that's just the way I roll, baby. That's just the way I roll. to crowd :Ron: Ugh, got anymore hearing protection? :Wade: I wish. to Señor Senior, Sr. activating love-ray to crowd under effects of love-ray :(Ron gets moshed and bumps into Monique, causing her earplugs to fall out) :Monique: Jr.? Jr.! I love you! :Ron: Hey, I was getting moshed! :Kim: You two take care of Monique. I'll stop Jr. to Kim onstage with Señor Senior, Jr. :SSJ: Oh! Kim Possible! :Kim: Señor Senior, Jr. :SSJ: Are you not falling in love with me and my funky fresh moves? :Kim: Mmm, not so much. :(Señor Senior, Sr. sneaks up on Kim and pulls out her earplugs) :Kim: (screams) Jr.! Will you be my Valentine? :SSJ: I am expecting a lot of offers this year. I will think on it. to Ron, Wade, and Monique in crowd :(Ron sees Señor Senior, Jr. and Kim onstage) :Ron: Kim? KP! We lost Kim. :Wade: Um, you distract Jr. I'll go backstage and shut down the cupid-ray. :Ron: What about Monique? :Wade: She's already mad at me, this can't make it any worse. to Señor Senior, Jr. and Kim onstage :SSJ: (singing) You must pay the toll. :Ron: Gimme back my girlfriend! (rips off wig) :SSJ: (laughs) :Ron: Dude, what is so funny? :SSJ: (laughs) I thought you were a lady! :Ron: Well, you are no gentleman. to Señor Senior, Sr. and Wade backstage :SSS: Ah, Kim Possible's genius helper. :Wade: That's super genius. :SSS: Your genius can not beat my evil or treachery. Have you met my bodyguards, Evil and Treachery? Get him! :Wade (grapples up, causing Evil and Treachery to run into each other and then destroys the love-ray) That's the way I roll. to Kim and Señor Senior, Jr. onstage :Kim: Huh? to crowd :Monique: What? Oh, not again! to Señor Senior, Jr. onstage :(the crowd boos Señor Senior, Jr. and throws fruit at him) :SSJ: Ahh! The fans! They're so fickle! I'll be in my trailer! :Señor Senior, Jr. and crowd to Bueno Nacho :Ron: A simple date. Just like you said. Not exactly Paris. :Kim: But it will do. Happy Valentine's Day. :Rufus: Awww. :(kiss is interrupted by Monique yelling at Wade) :Monique: How could you possibly think playing with love is a good thing? That's bad for science, bad for love, and bad all the way around. Okay, I'm done being angry now. I'm flattered that you like me. :(Wade notices a girl smiling at him over Monique's shoulder) :Monique: We can be friends. :Wade: That's great. Could you excuse me? :Monique: What? Oh, well. Guess it all worked out then. Oh, great. It's Valentine's Day and I'm dateless. :(notices Ned checking her out) :Monique: Dateless works. :to credits :Ron: Wade, how's your girlfriend? :Wade: Olivia? Terrible. :Ron: What? But I thought you found out she was a super genius just like you? :Wade: She is. Turns out she's built her own cupid-ray. :(Olivia blasts Wade with love-ray) :Wade: Oh, sweetie peach! I missed you this much! :Ron: You don't think Kim has one of those? :Kim :Kim: Hey, Ron. :Ron, Rufus: Ahhh! :Kim: What are you doing? :Ron: Nothing. :Kim: You're weird. :Ron: Kim...... :Kim: Shh, I like weird. Category:Transcripts